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Tuesday
Mar032009

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

I liked how the opening title looked.

Now that I got all of the good out of the way, let’s move on to the bad.

As the latest video game adapted film catastrophe faded to black and the credits began to roll, I sat with my hands on my head, mouth agape, shocked at what I had just seen. I didn’t even know what to say because words could not articulate the dreadfulness of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. I could have used every negative word in the English language and it would not have properly conveyed the dismal quality of this film.

In a year where Street Fighter IV is setting a new bar for fighting video games, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is setting a new low for action movies. It is easily the worst film of the year so far and it may very well be one of the worst films I have ever seen.

While the original 1994 Street Fighter film certainly wasn’t an award winner, The Legend of Chun-Li makes it look like Citizen Kane. Everything, and I mean everything, was wrong with this shockingly inept motion picture. I could have made a better movie with a camera, a tube of Rolos, and a sock puppet. It would take me hours to point out every flaw of The Legend of Chun-Li and, regrettably, I’m way too lazy to do that, so forgive my brevity.

There are two massive problems with the film. First, it is unintentionally hilarious. Thanks to what could go down as some of the worst dialogue in film history, my buddies and I sat in the theatre cracking up. I laughed so hard, I peed a little. No joke. I felt like I had just spent 24 hours on an abs machine because my stomach was hurting after all of the muscle contractions. In a sense, it’s almost so-bad-it’s-good. Unfortunately, I don’t consider unintentional hilarity a positive trait.

The second major problem is the acting. What the hell is Chris Klein doing in this movie? For that matter, what the hell is Chris Klein doing in any movie? Every second he was onscreen was so pitiful that I eventually got a crick in my neck from shaking my head back and forth in unadulterated shame. Klein gives one of the worst performances of the decade. Amusingly, the best performance is by Robin Shou who actually played Liu Kang in the rival video game series’ movie adaptation, Mortal Kombat. Oh, sweet irony.

The worst part? They set it up for a sequel. If this movie gets a sequel, I’m going to film myself on the toilet and pitch it around to movie studios because me pooping is infinitely more interesting than this trash.

What else can I say? The film is awful in every single way. The direction was poor, the action was bland and the characters were poorly written. To call them thin would be an insult to anorexia. I would rather watch my mother take a shower before ever watching this again. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is a disaster and the filmmakers should be ashamed. May God have mercy on their souls.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li receives 0/5

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Reader Comments (2)

Nice, funny review! Aside from Klein I thought some of the other actors were bad as well. If they make a sequel let's just hope they read all the reviews and really try to make it better.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Robin whatever, the guy who played Gem was terrible. Not a single line was delivered with the impact it should have been, in a movie devoid of any kind of impact. My favorite part of this terrible film is when she says in voice over "With mother dead, My life lacks direction, but then there is this scroll.... I wonder if it is a message" DID SHE ACTUALLY JUST SAY " I wonder if this message is a message?" dumb, but funny. Couldn't have been much worse.

March 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWhaleMenace

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