It’s not everyday you get to see Helen Mirren wield an Uzi. It’s with this thought that I found myself so excited for Red, the latest graphic novel to be given the Hollywood treatment. Unfortunately, it’s a movie that can only be described as a polished mess. It takes more than some decent hand-to-hand fighting choreography and an A-list cast of actors to make a riveting action movie.
Bruce Willis plays Frank Moses, an ex CIA black op agent who has little interaction with the outside world apart from his phone calls to Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker), a government pension administrator. Although they have never met, there’s a connection and when he tells her he is about to visit her area, they decide to meet up. But before he leaves, he is nearly killed, discovering he is now on the government's hit list and unsure why. After discussing it with former partners Joe (Morgan Freeman), Marvin (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Mirren), he and his gang head out in search of some answers.
There’s no shortage of comic book movies, or on an even broader scale action movies, in Hollywood. Red is merely another in a long line of mediocrity, but it tries real hard to be something different. It tries to make interesting the action by giving loud weapons to actors that are aged well into their 60’s and 70’s and by including poorly written pseudo-hipster dialogue that is laughable coming out of their mouths.
The fact of the matter is that compared to recent comic book movies, this isn’t as funny as Kick Ass or as original as Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and when it comes to action, it’s not as exciting as something like The Expendables or The A-Team. It’s a third rate combination of all of those films.
What’s disappointing, outside of its lack of originality and misappropriation of its stars, is that for an action flick, it moves slow. It wastes its time with needless conversations that contribute so little to the plot that their inclusion is nebulous at best. Take for instance an early scene where Joe tells Frank he has stage four level cancer. This little anecdote is brought up and dropped so quickly it recalls memories of the breast cancer line in Tommy Wiseau’s The Room.
When Red finally does take time for some action, it’s generic fare, with gun battles in a maze of shipping containers and parking garages. The most interesting scenarios in the whole film are sidestepped by the most convenient placement of characters I’ve seen in a while. Whenever somebody was in peril, a distant friend would show up at the exact right moment and snatch them away from harm. This tactic is repeated a number of times, further crippling its already crumbling structure.
I didn’t hate Red, however, despite my criticisms. Bruce Willis oozes cool in the film and never breaks a sweat, even when surrounded on all sides and facing a hail of bullets, and although Mirren and Freeman aren’t given much to do, it was interesting seeing them at their age as the main stars of a comic book action movie. The fun the actors had making Red comes across onscreen, but that fun never reaches us.
Red receives 2/5