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Furry Vengeance

Bad comes in various forms. There are those movies that are easy to pick apart, one that does so many things so wrong that it gives me plenty of venom to spew when I write my reviews, and then there are those movies that are so bad you can’t find the words to describe them. Furry Vengeance falls into the latter category, a film so vapid, so mind numbing, so ill conceived that it has to be seen to be believed. It’s at a level of bad that is indescribable, but I’ll do my best.

The film stars the go to slapstick funnyman Brendan Fraser as Dan Sanders, a housing developer who is working on a project that will effectively wipe out an entire forest. He has brought his wife Tammy, played by Brooke Shields, and his son Tyler, played by Matt Prokop, along with him to live on site for one year, but when his boss, Neal Lyman, played by Ken Jeong, asks him to commit to another four years, he accepts and prolongs their stay. However, their presence is not welcome in the local forest and the animals all decide to band together and run them off their land.

Yep, it’s one of those movies—a live action animal slapstick comedy. The difference between this and something like G-Force or Dr. Dolittle, however, is that the animals don’t talk, or at least not to the humans. They talk amongst themselves as they create strategies and they do it through thought bubbles, like the ones you see in newspaper comic strips. Perhaps because they are forced to work with the resources they are given, their plan mostly consists of humiliation tactics like defecating on Dan’s car, spraying him in the crotch with water and lining up a batch of skunks to spray him not once, not twice, but in three different instances.

And how humiliating it is. Not for the character—who cares about him?—but for Brendan Fraser. You’d think after starring in movies like Monkeybone, Dudley Do-Right and George of the Jungle he’d be tired of relegating himself to a punching bag. He does nothing in this film he hasn’t done in countless others. He contorts his face in all kinds of silly manners and takes a physical punishment unparalleled among other actors. If there were a Guinness Book of World Records movie category for Most Times Hit in the Groin, I’m sure Fraser would reign champion. His mangled member has willingly taken so many shots throughout the years that it’s probably shaped like an L.

I’m sure Fraser’s mindset when accepting these types of roles is a fun one where he hopes to bring laughter to any children who may see his movie, but does he not realize how degrading it is? Never mind his previous movies. Just in this one alone he is urinated on, covered in feces and seen naked wearing a woman’s bra, among others.

I kind of admire the man for having the guts to do these types of things, but I also feel like giving him a hug because he’s a decent actor (as seen in Crash) and deserves better than this. I feel largely the same about the supporting cast who have all seen better days, sans Prokop who somehow manages to embarrass himself more than Fraser just from his pathetic acting abilities.

Furry Vengeance is a boring, insipid, tedious film that tries to tack on a half assed eco friendly "Save our forests!" message to its low brow slapstick, succeeding only in making the proceedings even more painful. As a film reviewer, I try to go into movies with my mind wiped clean of any preconceived notions and give them a shot, but this was one of those occasions where I couldn’t help but break that rule. My expectations were lower than low and still the final product fell far short. Furry Vengeance scrapes the bottom of the cinematic barrel and has officially dethroned Cop Out as the worst film of 2010 thus far.

Furry Vengeance receives 0/5

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